Originally Posted by redpepper
I will pass on all the info so far to her. Thanks again. She has a ways to go... she is concerned that he is using young women as usual and can't seem to break away because she thinks she can do something about it... I told her that all she can do is be her out spoken old self and keep telling people her story... educate, educate, educate! She has a blog that she writes on. I don't know the site, but I will see if she will give it to me. She is really wanting to use his name there to warn the community, but I told her that just talking about it means that others will benefit. Her talking to me and others means that the word will get out and that she needs to just trust that people are on their own path and that she needs to be on hers and look after her best primary... herself.
Somehow as much as I'm not surprised to hear about this, it still leaves me speechless.
The behavior is completely unacceptable, and I don't know why we spend so much time playing nice instead of kicking the asses of those who need it. (Figuratively speaking mostly)
Particularly I doubt the value of getting the word out by round-about here-say leaving the abusive party to be identified by conjecture. It leaves too many possibilities in the short term for others to become involved with an abusive person without warning.
Just because we may have or are a primary, does not absolve us from taking care of our secondaries, metamores, friends, family, community, or even perfect strangers just by virtue of being fellow human beings. We may not have any control or say in the decisions they make in the end, but forewarned is forearmed...and they deserve to know what they may be getting into. Silence only helps perpetuate the cycle.
Must my opinion fwiw...which may not be much...and now I'll stop here since this is kind of thing is probably a trigger for me.