I've just written loads...which didn't save for some reason, so forgive me if it does turn up. It means I would have spoken twice - which I would be fine with in this situation.
A young woman has raised emotional and sexual abuse,
She is doing that as she needs firm voices around her to echo what she knows - that this behaviour is unacceptable.
RP - She has turned to you for a reason. You are an impressive person, compassionate and intelligent. She is turning to you because she wants you to say this is not ok. She needs your echo..
RP - In the original post you said you were furious with him but had compassion. This is not the time to show him compassion.
It is always good to remain open, tolerate and ready to listen. But don't show tolerance for this.
I think it's really important to not have ambiguity around this behaviour. And whilst being respectful of what others are going through...RP - You need to tell her this is not on. Ever. That's why she's talking to you - she wants to hear that from you.
The voices around emotional and sexual abuse need to be loud. Like written in a bigger font size.
There's very little room for discussion and mutual understanding and negotiation and understanding and maybe if he didn't smoke pot, or improved communication or better education, or perhaps if he slept a bit more, or maybe if his music took off, or if he chatted with his mum more often, or if that dole cheque came through, or if things were ok with his secondary, or perhaps if the sex were better, or if I were a bit clearer, or perhaps if blah blah....
No. None of that matters.