You can call me Catfish, but my name is Dan. I live in a midwestern college town with my beautiful wife, Rarechild, two dogs, one cat and my brother. I play rawkus music in an old time string band, but my day job is working with developmentally disabled adults. I've had this job for well over a decade and have sort of a love/hate relationship with it. I love helping people who can't help themselves, but it''s an emotional drain at times and working for a non-profit will ensure a meager existence.
We own our home, but wish we didn't, we have a great community of friends and family, and our lives are rich with music and art. Life is pretty good these days.
R and I met at a poetry reading in 2004. She lived an hour away and I had a gf at the time. It didn't take long for me to break up with the gf and start dating R. She is breathtakingly beautiful and smart as a whip, it was an easy choice to make. Three months later we were engaged. A year after that, we were married in a small ceremony on a beach in Cape Cod. Our first year as a married couple was naively blissful. Soon after those golden months ended, we began to get restless and communication slowly broke down. Our whirlwind romance was ending and the real work was beginning, though we were pretty unprepared to give ourselves fully to one another. Two years of withdrawing and misunderstanding followed. We were always good to each other and treated each other with love, but we were both holding back mountains of resentment for the other not being what we thought they were. There's a lot more to it, but I'll leave it at that. Then last fall we had a melt down. R moved out for the winter and we both began the slow and steady process of rebuilding our lives as individuals. R went back to school and I dove headlong into a string band. We talked daily and continued to care for each other even though we needed to be apart. In March, she moved back in, fully expecting to prove to herself that she was never meant to be the marrying type and it would be best to get a divorce. That's when we started actually speaking our minds. With the nuclear option on the table, and being seriously considered, there was nothing to lose. We finally opened our hearts about being attracted to other people. That one conversation changed the entire dynamic of our relationship. We no longer had to hide from one another. We actually found it a turn on talking about it.
That pretty much brings us to today. We are in love, happy and for the first time starting to see the repercussions of spreading love and light among the world we live in. The future looks amazing.
Concern yourself less with love and more with loving.