Honestly, I always thought of myself as devoutly monogamous, too. I've never had a relationship where I felt the need to look outside for fulfillment. I've been married to the same man for nearly 19 years. And I certainly didn't look for polyamory, ever. I am happy in my marriage. I love my husband deeply, passionately, whole-heartedly. Our sex life is wonderful.
I'm still struggling to understand how I ended up in a polyamorous relationship. I was *so grounded* in being monogamous. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I thought in absolutes, too, and I was very, very monogamous. But falling in love happened to me anyway, and I don't think it's taken away from any of my relationships. I think it's made my marriage better in ways I hadn't even dreamed of. I'm not saying you don't know yourself, just that sometimes you'd be surprised.