Originally Posted by neohio44122
We really don't have rules, we have been poly over 15 years. I am mono and she is poly. She only has one boyfriend at a time(by her choice not a rule) and they tend to last a long time(years). I would never tell her how to have sex, where to have sex and so on. Her relationship with her boyfriend is between them and is separate from our relationship. I do not interfere. I do not say you do that for him and not me. He has needs just like I do. She does a pretty good job with time management. Sometimes she spends more time with me sometimes with him. When she spends time with him, most of the time she spends the night over his house some time for days. They are free to have sex in our house. Some time we have threesomes, or if I come home and they are going at it I might watch. She has a key to his house and he has a key to ours. Some time the three of us go on vacation together some times she goes on business trips with him. My wife and her boyfriend are fluid bonded.
Other than a request for safe sex, I think it’s wrong to limit your partner and their lover sexually. You can’t have oral, you can’t kiss, you can’t do this position or that position is a bunch of bull in my opinion. If your just swining its ok to limit sex acts, but if it is a true loving relationship its just wrong.
This is your opinion neohio and, in my opinion, it is a good idea to say so as to others this could come across as a judgment and disrespect of a persons process and journey they are on. I realize that the original post is judgmental also, but is it really going to help to judge back at them?
You say you have been this 15 years. I have also. I know what you are saying. I understand what you are saying and can relate. I just think that it is really important for us old timers to poly to be patient and empathetic to those that are starting out and doing things differently.
I wonder how you felt the first time your wife went out to sleep with someone else? How did you feel when she told you that she is poly? What is your story of getting where you are now. To me, hearing about THAT, is how people can learn and grow and realize that they too can figure out what works for them... rather than telling people that you think they are wrong.