Originally Posted by Athena
It took us a long time to agree on boundaries, and what would make us feel hurt or not. My husband emotionally just wants to be bonded to me, and therefore to always be my primary attachment, but he wants sexual variety and to try some things he just is pretty sure are not so much to my relatively vanilla taste. I enjoy sex, but am fairly vanilla about it, and like to feel at least a deep friendship with some one to want to start physical contact, which makes me more poly and him more swinging. My husband fears drama if I start up with some one single, so I have agreed with him that I will date members of couples (or both in a couple depending on the situation). It took a lot of talking, and we even used a professional therapist to deal with some issues. I don't know if that helps you because the exact issue is a bit different, but mostly I think even with your issue it is showing each other respect, talking openly and doing small affectionate things for each other which may or may not involve sexual acts.
Hope that helps!
Thanks, it helps to know that it was difficult, but you worked it out! We have been doing a lot more open and honest communication recently, which has helped a lot.