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Old 01-27-2011, 02:01 PM
aslesa aslesa is offline
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: small town between GR and Kzoo
Posts: 5

ohhhhhh can i relate!!! hubby and i are in the SAME sitch! only it's reversed...he wants to and i am scared as hell. mainly because i do not form friendships or get beyond "hey what's up?" with almost ANYONE...i keep people at a good safe emotional distance so it scares the crap out of me to consider it. the's sex. i don't care. i'll do what the situation calls for, girl...guy...both...whatever. i almost can empathize with a prostitute on that level. i don't connect. but ever forming a bond with anybody??? HA!!! and now that His polyamory thing has come in the picture i have found i am trying to protect myself from him in case he finds something new shiny and better....even though time after time after time (we haven't ever done anything unless it was with two of our mutual female friends) whenever i get scared or clingy he reassures me that I "am his potatoes" he could survive off me and enjoy it...he only LOVES me for his life partner. but that somehow doesn't quite do it for me. i feel like i am expected to go into this thing being happy getting 10 or 20 or 40% of the love and attention of anyone i am with and just be happy about it. i can't wrap my head around how there CAN be enough love or whatever. and i think it's cuz I myself show preferences...i prefer my puppy over my cats...i prefer blueberries over strawberries...i prefer lady gaga over madonna...and i give each the attention and love in other words i DO give less love and attention to the cats...i eat more blueberries...i listen to gaga, even to the exclusion of the others. i make sure basic needs are met but i really don't try to go farther. so maybe your hubby is having the same "starvation economy" thinking that i am struggling with...where he thinks just because you may have feelings for someone else, then your feelings toward him decrease?? just a thought...
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