Originally Posted by Magdlyn
Am I correct in perceiving that he'd be OK with you having sex with another woman (not Derby, but yet another woman
This statement is pretty much correct accept that I am OK with Redpepper actually developing relationships with other women that include sex...not that I am OK with her having sex with any woman.
Me being ok with anything is ultimately irrelevant as she is an individual with free will.
I know it's hard to understand how I can handle my partner having sex with one gender and not another. Even this is a huge thing for me. I almost left my ex wife over her very brief and unconsecrated exploration with another woman.
There's no easy explanation other than it is a combination of preceiving female energy and intimacy as something much different than that of another male as well as an admitted turn off factor at the thought of RP with additional men. Whether this preception is shared by anyone else or thought to be incorrect is irrelevant to my
reality. It is this preception that enables me to embrace these relationships and be healthy in them. They do affect me....it is not as though they just don't count or matter. I work at them.
If I had never become more than a boy-toy or was involved in a less comitted way, such as casual dating then I believe things could be different. I am hardly a boy-toy though and I doubt if we could continue to be intimate if I stepped back into a casual role. We've come too far to lessen our relationship simply to share the occasional fuck. We have sex with our hearts as well as our bodies.
It is again a very unique set of circumstance that had to occur for us to be a healthy partnership. The idea of non-monogamy is very far from my side of the scale; having a completely open relationship is off mine. Redpepper is the only woman I can ever imagine even having a non-monogamous relationship of any depth with. The bond we formed early on through exceptional vulnerability and trust is what has given me the strength to push past the idea of being in a non-monogamous relationship at all. This is it..first and last one..hopefully a very, very, very long one at that