Hi again. You are definitely not alone. The reason I came on this forum was to share my perspective as a monogamous lover in a polyamorous relationship. I am glad you are taking something from my posts and I get something back in knowing I am giving to someone based on experience.
I spoke with Redpepper last night about posting on this forum and in fact specifically chatting with you as another monogamous person. Part of a complete visit for us is open communication that peels away layers to ensure we never let things build up.
Redpepper is very aware that my intimate love hinges on deep connection and she is also aware that I only have that connection for one person at a time. I was concerned that she might worry about me connecting with a like minded person and therefore be threatened. Don't laugh! This is the type of detail in communication we both love and need in our relationship. She knows that I will stop anything that makes her uncomfortable and would in fact withdrawal from this forum. She was adamant that I don't stop posting and enjoys me sharing details about our relationship and my perspective.
There are feelings and thoughts that everyone has that, once looked at objectively, appear insane or irrational. But that is part of being human! If we try to discount these feelings and not look at them, live in them and learn from them we are heading for pain.
It is normal for these feelings to be soothed by people and discussed. That is how we grow and determine our path. If anyone tries to discount your feelings then they are not respecting your perspective and that is a disservice.
Keep smiling and be true to yourself..don't get lost in your puppy. He/she won't make everything all right if it isn't.
Now stop thinking and enjoy your day!