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Old 01-25-2011, 03:45 PM
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Senga Senga is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Buffalo NY, willing to relocate
Posts: 99
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As you have learned from this experience, if you don't do what you say, then it opens up a can of rotten shit worms.

In my opinion, if there was an agreement, it does not matter what the agreement was, you had the obligation to follow the agreement. If you don't like the agreement, then don't agree to it. Or discuss it until you find you can follow it. Agreement= Promise. Don't follow your promises & there is not much trust or happiness.

For her: She will have to take the process to truly forgive. Acceptance that it was not intentional. She will also need to let go of the control factor that is inhibiting you both. Explain how this is inhibiting you. (other posters have explained this & I agree)

For you: You yourself need to realize that it was dumb and selfish on your part! You have to trust yourself that you Can and Will follow your own agreements. Not only did you break the agreement to your wife, you broke the agreement to yourself. You misjudged yourself & therefore made an agreement that was not good for you. It can be hard to follow through on agreements I realize, especially in the heat of the moment. But dude! Did you really think that agreements are made for times when there is no pressure? The answer is NO, agreements are made FOR times when there is pressure and irrationality & emotions. If you want to reach your goals, you need to lay on a good foundation, stop walking backwards. A little self discipline will save you more heartache and problems than you can ever know. I assure you & I encourage you to try it.

I hope I didn't offend you by being so direct, I really saw a huge improvement in my relationships and I would love for that to happen for you guys.
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