I would suggest looking at the multitude d threads that have gone before you and asked similar if not the same questions. What you are looking for is a unicorn. I would suggest doing a search for tags on unicorns, triads, dating, and secondaries to find what you need. The threads that are tagged with these are the best ones on here for conversations about how it feels to be a secondary, what people have done about kids and coming out, finding a unicorn... Lots to read and learn from. There are also stickies that will help also.
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