I think that really when it comes down to it my men quite often are only thinking about the last time they were touching my naked body and really see right through clothing anyways.... I could be wearing an old ugly t-shirt with my hair all flat on one side from sleeping on it and get my ass smacked by both mono and my husband. Along with a little nibble on the neck and a quiet "grrrrrr" in my ear.... really it answers all my "Am I fat questions!" They think I am the sexiest thing ever and I in turn have chosen to believe them rather than media, and societal norms....I mean really, I don't follow the norm anyway as I have two ass smackers in my life, so why bother with following the other rules we are dished out.
A quote about fighting.... I think it was by Michael J Fox when he was asked for advice about marriage.
"Keep the sex dirty and the fighting clean"
(it has worked for me so far