Originally Posted by ladyslipper
So I wanted to stop back and share my lessons about propositioning a friend via e-mail. My husband and I were both very concerned with how the revelation of this new idea we were exploring would impact our friendship with the person we were attempting to bring into our marriage. My husband was correct I think, in assuming that he would feel more comfortable with an e-mail. So we tried to e-mail him in an attempt to prepare him for an actual face to face. This ended up coming off cryptic and he asked us just to "spit it out". We obliged. The thing about laying this all out in an e-mail was that we didn't want to say too much or too little. We ended up having the discussion with out ever having the discussion. And while we wanted it to be easy for him to say no we also wanted him to say yes. The thing we couldn't see coming for some reason was the huge empty spaces in all of this that he was left to fill in for himself. With out the benefit of ever looking us in the eyes or saying what came to mind at the moment it came to mind. It was entirely too easy to dismiss the whole thing completely. I won't go so far as to say he didn't give it enough thought or he doesn't know what he's missing but I can't help feeling we missed the mark on this one. He's decided it just isn't for him. Who am I to say otherwise, still, I'll hold out hope that the idea continues to grow in his mind. My husband and I have certainly benefited greatly from all the discussions we've had. Thanks again to everyone here.
Very well stated!
I feel the email was the best way with this person but other people might be better face to face. Our friend sparked a new way in our life as a married couple and i thank him for that. We did a lot of talking this last week and learned a lot more about each other and yourselfs... How really deep our love is for each other and how we would like to share our lifes with anothers in the future. The idea is in his head so we are always open for him to join us. We have decide to take our time and try to find a nice couple in the area that would like to slowly build a friendship in a deeper level.
Thanks again for all the post!