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Old 01-24-2011, 02:06 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Hey Autumnal,

Some thoughts for and against.....

Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
Envy is wanting what somebody else has. It may or may not be driven by feelings of inadequacy or insecurity. Indeed, one can feel envy without ever feeling inadequate or insecure.
True. I agree. EXCEPT in the context of what we are talking about the envy you speak of that is low level ( envy over physical things etc) seldom cause the type of problems and drama that inadequacy does in relationships. Context is important. We're dealing with relationships here and the competitive factor that so many people can't seem to step aside from.

Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
I think that's a nonsensical notion. We can certainly lose what we expect to have available without ever having "won" anything. And it has nothing to do with feeling ownership of anybody.
Agree and disagree on this one. And it's misleading and could send some down a wrong path. CAN we technically lose a dream (expectation) ? I suppose one could say that, but I hold to the fact you can't 'lose' something you don't posses.
"Expectations" are a whole other ball of wax and deserve a whole discussion themself. They are their own demon.

Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
I expect my wife to hang around because she tells me she enjoys my company. I didn't "win" her company any more than I "won" the friendship of my best friend from high school.
Oh really ! Do you remember back to the first few dates? The 'pursuit' phase ? Or maybe your relationship didn't develop like that. Our's really didn't ....some don't. But for a majority they do. Somebody 'wins' -somebody usually loses. If you are the type that sees life as a competition.

Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
I certainly don't feel I own either of the two.
Good ! I hope this is a true, accurate and LIVED statement.

Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
So the idea that fear of loss can only come from feeling we own somebody else just doesn't hold up to examination.
Again, I feel semantically incorrect, misleading. You can't 'lose' something you don't 'have'. Basic. But that's more a topic for the philosophy forum than here
C'mon over anytime - it's a fun place.

Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
I also find this nonsensical. Emotions are sometimes fleeting and vaporous, lasting but a moment. At other times they can burn in the hearth of someone's heart for ages. There's no guarantee of longevity of emotion. With that in mind, to say that a short-lived emotion never existed strikes me as a bit absurd.
Again, context, not generalities. We're talking about love and respect here. We're not going to 'lose' someone's love and respect if they were truly there in the first place except through our own actions. We can 'become' unrespectable through our actions and beliefs. People can change. Same, it seems, applies to love. But that seems even harder. Many people feel a form of love for people they have known intimately and would come to their aid if necessary. But they may just not like them anymore. Now THAT sounds non-sensical LOL But it is what it is.


Last edited by GroundedSpirit; 01-24-2011 at 02:14 PM.
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