Originally Posted by NYCindie
A relationship that starts out or remains mostly sexual isn't necessarily always temporary, short-lived, or shallow. Its dynamic simply meets a particular need.
Originally Posted by HappiestManAlive
Glad to know there are others who think like this.
Can't seem to get my computer to back up a page and save the quote, but LR mentioned her & Maca and their differing uses of words. Violet and I just recently realized this fundamental breakdown between us, and are working on it. It's HARD. Now that we're working on it, we're constantly aware of JUST how often it happens, even with ittle things, and now we see it etween other people all the time. Many a book and thesis could (and probably has been) written on this one, it's a deep and universal problem.
I find it interesting to see how many people here acknowledge the attraction>lovers>friends>love model and the others similar to it; and how this is accepted now. I haven't been active here for months because of the heat I caught for operating this way, which it how I've always been. I also see comments about sex on first dates and such. Glad to see more acceptance of people who move quickly now.
what was it that LR and Maca don't agree on? that you are working on? sorry, confused...
welcome back btw
I am not sure fast paces aren't accepted so much as people have different ideas on how poly works for them. You got some great advice several times HMA, hope that life is working out the way you had hoped... whatever way (that is yours) you work and however you get there.... that is the main thing no?
It really comes down to whatever pace you want and whatever length of relationship you want. Some people like to live hard and fast and have fleeting moments where they find love and sex and therefore happiness, while others would rather savour moments and have something lasting... or some like hard and fast and lasting, and others slow with not much going on...nothing is wrong or right, just different. That is what makes us all unique... the best thing to do about it all, I think, is to find out what pace or what kind of relationship someone wants before getting too involved or it could end in pain if the potential partner is not on the same wavelength. Is that even possible all of the time? I don't think so, but if it is it could really be beneficial.