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Old 09-04-2009, 03:56 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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Wow, you guys are all so awesome *tear* *sniff*

Such kind words of support. I really appreciate that. It means more than you know....

It was just as hard to come out with this as it was to come out that I was a lesbian a million years ago... Then they mourned that they might not have grand kids. This time they were mostly concerned about the grandchild they do have.

We ended up having to say something as they were building themselves into a frenzy with concern that Mono's interest in our family is my son!!! They eventually asked what is going on and said they were very concerned that Mono was going to look after my son for the day this past Monday. My Dad called a family meeting, which we had on Monday night.

The meeting started with my asking them what their concerns were. It came out that they thought Mono was molesting our child and that is why there was a lack of comfort and strange tension in the air when he was around. They thought his presence in our life was confusing and unhealthy for our son and that he wasn't getting enough time with his parents... possibly that he is confused about who his Daddy is. I was frustrated with these comments and argued the points but my husband pointed out that they were valid concerns.... I agreed that we would look at them more closely and if something hadn't changed around some behaviours he's been having (I think related to other circumstances) then we would seek some professional help in October. I think the behaviour will stop when school starts.

It was the next part that was the roughest. My Mum launched into a tyraid of assumptions, judgments, accusations and finger pointing... even sighting the fact that this was all my Dad's fault because he cheated on her when we were kids. I was horrified when she told him that she only stayed with him so that we kids could have enough money to go to university! She went on and on about how hard her life has been and how now we have changed everything and that things will never be the same and that she will recent Mono for as long as she lives for taking her family/grandson away from her. That we won't be doing certain things together now because he is in our lives.... on and on. I was surprised because Mono has spent tons of good times with them already!

I was very hurt and at one point almost walked out screaming that I would not tolerate her speaking to us in that way. She almost walked out saying that she was leaving the family.... I made her stay, telling her we had to have it out now, because I wasn't doing this again! It was a nightmare. I am so ashamed I handled the way I did and I am so hurt and angry at what she said.

To top it off I asked that she not speak to anyone until we had told my husbands Mum and she went right ahead and told her that night! Albeit under pressure from my mother in law to say how the meeting went, but still!

Anyway, they had some accusations (etc.) that I will re-work into questions so as to be helpful to anyone reading this.... as I think that this all might be helpful in some way to anyone who is considering coming out or worries about the repercussions as I did. I think I will start a new link for those questions actually..... stay tuned for a link to it.


adding link to new thread.

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showt...=6288#post6288
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Last edited by redpepper; 09-04-2009 at 04:24 AM.
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