Originally Posted by Senga
However I implore that instead of asking in an upset way, (like how you will probably feel once you are so overwhelmed by bending over backwards) talk about it before this. In my situation things got heated quickly sometimes and we stopped listening. So my boyfriend and I agreed to go outside where it was calm, sit on the porch for 10 minutes and write down the Focus of our arguments in only a few sentences on paper. Then we switched papers and replied to each other by writing. After that we continued to talk about it. It really helped to get the ball rolling for a productive conversation. The best of luck to you!
Yes, talking before getting emotional is so important and takes practice... I sometimes don't say anything until my words are in order and I find a moment when I am distracted by other things (pretty easy to come by in my life) and then say the words I have put together without too much thought and definitely less emotions in attached. It goes over much better and gets me to where I want to be in a way that is more tactful, respectful and with less drama.
I like your idea of swapping lists! That is a really good way of doing it and comes to a similar end as how I do it. It would drive me crazy to actually write... but then I have dyslexia and avoid writing on paper as much as I can. Whatever works right? That is the main thing.