If I could figure out the "quote" function this would work better for sure..but here goes.
"I say you just want more sex (can I say sex?) He says no I want the relationship. My argument is if you want relationships go get more friends. lol Honestly, I think it is the perversion factor that propels Quath more than anything. It is not bad to want sex I just think it is intellectually dishonest to say it isn't 90% of polyamory. Not to offend anyone I also think that people in polyamorous relationships do love each other very deeply. I just don't want to pretend sex isn't a driving factor."
I agree with you and cannot shake the sense that this true in the majority of cases. Keep in mind that I am monogamous and my hard wiring is obviously different from a person hard wired for polyamory. That doesn't make it right or wrong, it just makes it my perception. I feel reality is based on individual preception therefore, this is my reality. Asking me to change that would be like asking me to suddenly accept that I am actually African American...I would have a hard time accepting that I am not Caucasian!
Let me re-iterate that I understand the ability to love more than one person intimately. My incredible relationship with Redpepper is based upon that. I just don't want you thinking you are alone in the basis of your thinking.
For what it is worth I have been trying to read the Ethical Slut for some time..I am a very capable reader but simply find it disturbing LOL! It's almost funny to discover that a guy who thought he was an unethical slut when he was married could have such a hard time with the idea of one that is ethical LOL!! Once I finish the book perhaps my understanding will be better.
Honestly, there is a huge part of me that wishes I was Polyamorous. I don't believe it is something that is learned..it is fundamental to a persons nature. Hmmm. I'm really getting into trouble here....