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Old 01-22-2011, 11:54 AM
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Mohegan Mohegan is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 758

From the wifely side of this. I hear " I don't respect what you have to say. Your feelings aren't valid, so I don't care that you are having them. I am the one true way, seek salvation through me."

It's more how you are saying things, not what you are saying. I can respect that you have a difference of opinion. But I feel like you don't give the same respect.

If it's a situation where health or life can be badly affected, then yes you need to stand up and tell me or whoever else we are wrong. But you need to back that up with why. " I understand you see it this way, but I feel if it goes on this way, or you choose that option something bad will happen. I think a better option may be to go about it this way. Can you see where I am coming from?"

When you immediatly come across with "You're over reacting, you're not thinking straight " I go on the defensive. And so do most people you talk with. You've set a stage for "I don't really care to hear why you feel that way, because you're an over reactive idiot"

A little respect and compassion go a long way.

One of things Cricket and I have in common, and one of the reasons your attacks bother us so much, is that when we are first upset, or first experiencing something, we need to vent. We probably aren't being rational. And at that point in time we don't care. We don't want to hear the many reasons we are wrong, we want you to listen.

I like what was said about asking if the person you are talking with wants to hear your opinion. "I hear what you're saying, would you like my take on things?" To me, in the few times you've done that, it puts me in a place where I can seperate my feelings and hear some logic. If I'm already full of emotion and now the one person I go to to vent all that out to is telling me he doesn't care, and I'm wrong, and over reacting, I'm not going to be all that receptive to what you have to say.

Last edited by Mohegan; 01-22-2011 at 12:03 PM.
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