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Old 01-22-2011, 05:35 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

You're welcome. Glad to be of help. Just a little bit more...

Originally Posted by parcimonieux View Post
no, we are not having him over just to try and impress him
I didn't mean to imply that that was the only reason you invited him; but you did say in your first post that you were "almost desperate" for his approval, so it's more like an undercurrent running below the surface.

Despite recognizing that, my fear and tension is definitely coming from focusing on the outcome, even though I know I can't control it. It's irrational but I'm finding it hard not to think that way since it feels like a negative outcome might take her away from us. Which, in reality, it almost certainly wouldn't anyway.
That's okay, acknowledge those thoughts but don't feed them, and remember where to place your attention. Break the evening down into moments. Just concern yourself with first things first, each step of the way, like: Make the space comfortable; Plan the menu; The cooking (will your guests help out in the kitchen, which can often be fun, or be entertained while the cooking's done?). Break the ice, music, drinks, whatever. The table, the food, the conversation, the connections to people you love - forget about the end of the night and the next day, just be present in each moment and remember it's all about the love and affection that connect you all.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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