Thread: An Update
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Old 01-22-2011, 04:21 AM
TankDiveGirl TankDiveGirl is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: DFW Metroplex
Posts: 24
Default Long Time, No Post (A Novel! Sorry!)

Hi Everyone!

It's been a LONG time since I posted here! I haven't forgotten about you all, things have been really really tough around here for quite some time, and I haven't had a whole lot of internet access. Fortunately though, that will change shortly.

So i wanted to give you guys an update, those of you who might remember me and my situation.

S and I never got back together. In fact, he ended up seeing me with another man, who i had just started dating, who he never even knew existed, and instead of speaking to me about it or asking questions, he jumped to conclusions and sent my wife, L, threatening text messages. So, this was, as you can imagine, completely uncalled for. S and I did not speak throughout this. He was dating a girl who my wife has been friends with for more than 10 years and had not told her that he had possibly been exposed to the STI that my wife and i both carry (not life threatening, just annoying), and my wife was the one who told this girl that, though he and i had always had protected sex, there was still a small chance that she had been exposed. She, of course, got super pissed, and we thought that would be the end of the relationship between S and my wife's friend (also S, so i'll avoid confusion there. This is complicated enough!) It wasn't, but that's neither here nor there.

I ended up dating my secondary for about 4 months, but it never went anywhere because i really didn't find him physically attractive. He was one of my best friends, had an incredible mind, but i just couldn't sleep with him. We parted amicably, or so i thought, still friends, still hanging out, whatever.

My relationship with my wife was rocky for a while, but in the last 6 months has improved incredibly. We're almost back to where we were before i started dating S. I have no real desire to date anyone at the moment, but poly is still on the table for both of us, should the right person come along. I've learned a whole lot about what to do and what not to do, we've talked and talked and talked, and we're both okay with where things are right now.

So that's the good part.

Now the weird part.

S has been dating my wife's friend for about 18 months, give or take. For about the first year they were dating, he had me and L blocked from his facebook, but recently unblocked us and friend requested me again. I didn't think anything of it, friended him, figured that i'd not speak to him and just have him as my facebook friend and life would go on as normal.

This morning I got a facebook message from him that just says "call me". Now, ive gotten a new phone and number since he and i were together and LONG since deleted his contact info, but i wrote back for him to send me his number and i would call him. He sent his number about 4 hours ago, but I'm absolutely terrified to call. I have no idea why he wants to speak to me. L knows, i told her as soon as i got the original message, and she's curious as well, but she understands my apprehension. My mind is churning, but i've already decided that i will not be rekindling our relationship. I believe he had unrealistic expectations of what poly really is, and I also feel that the things he said to my wife make having another intimate relationship with him impossible. I'd still be his friend, but i'm even willing to cut that off, should he attempt to take our contact further than friendship.

THAT being said. AUGH! I had really basically just gotten to the point that i didn't even really think about him about 6 months ago. For him to contact me out of the blue like this has really flipped my @&*%(.

Anyway, thanks for listening, all. Hopefully I'll be back to being a regular poster here again soon.

*hugs*
J
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