My man, I'll call him Mr, and I have slightly different conceptions when it comes to our ideal poly-relationship. He subscribes to the bdsm-kind of polyamory. He would like a submissive individual to be exclusive to him and I, or anyone else of his choosing. He believes there are people on this earth who genuinely enjoy, feel at home, strive for, subservient positions in relationships, and can find real solace there.
I have a tough time with this. My personal bias is that part of life is gaining autonomy, interdependence, and the confidence to appropriately pursue one's own dream. The thought of someone being submissive to us is arousing in the bedroom, but when thinking about having then be submissive day-to-day it sounds exploitative, and counter to a loving relationship.
I am kinky in the bedroom, not all the time, but can be. The dynamics that take place in a role-play stay in bed (or were ever the action is happening) so to speak. For him they can be a relationship dynamic. We have never found someone that fits us for a LTR. It's a challenge we are both up for though!