What it is
I have been there and back again. My wife is 43 and I am 58. When I was where you are--my wife basically saying I am having a boyfriend whether you like it or not-- it sucked and I said no so my wife, after months of sneaking around, finally moved out but then moved back and renounced her relationship with Bill, the boyfriend. Five years have passed and we reopened the polyarmory discussion. I told her it wasn't the sex before, it was the lying and the one-sided way it was presented. We decided to look at it again from a different perspective with everything open and upfront. She now has three boyfriends, including Bill, and she couldn't be happier. And I love it. I could have girlfriends myself but don't want or need one at this time. I am just overjoyed to see her so happy and we have a deeper and more loving relationship than ever, and great, great sex. One rule we agreed too is that I always come first, even if it means breaking a date. The other guys are all cool with that too. If it is not right for you now, you have to take a chance at losing her. It can only work if you are both down with it.