the dadt is her lovers. he told us she would never understand. no we don t really have any of those things laid out formally. actually the contact thing was an issue for me day before yesterday. we where talking and towards closing i told her i missed her and L said she ll be home in a few days, get over it. it wasn t as harsh as it sounds out of context. L says me telling her i miss her takes away from her ability to be totally present. i m not saying i miss her to slow her flow so to speak, i guess i wanted an i miss you too. our general approach to vacation contacts is geared towards the kids, not us in a poly relationship. we wait for them to call us so as not to distract from their time away.our everyday reality is that we spend most days together and love that we can. L also has a job that prevents her from leaving town except on rare occasions, except for a couple of long weekends she hasn t had a vacation alone in years. L is a true goddess on this earth and deserves all the love joy and freedom possible.she does so much for so many. she is loved and respected by everyone. i realize that i don t really have any one to talk to besides L and need to remedy that. we really only know one poly couple in our circle and i just recently had a good connection with the woman and have hopes of being able to talk to her a little bit. she s been poly for a while i believe .i think what s difficult for me right now is my only truly trusted confidant is L, and she s unavailable.which is why i m here.
i m sure there are other common areas that generally require discussion regarding boundaries and agreements, feel free to mention them. thanks again