Originally Posted by dingedheart
I think the trust issue hits the nail on the head. I'm having trouble trusting 100% what I'm told but thats because of shading of the truth omission of facts. I dont trust the bf. We had two face to face meetings. Both unplanned on my part. . . .
No big deal but after more conversation things they said did'nt add up. I . . . overall alike weird but I wrote it off to the situation. Later I viewed it as some sort of recon mission. Second meeting was at a party at a friends home which I had know idea he and his wife were going to be there until I was walking up to the house. . . . This event started off harmless enough until . . . I guess I shot him a look that scared my wife into jumping in and changing the topic. I did say something like " thats alittle personal for somebody I just met. The vibe I got is he had read my file so to speak and I was flying blind.
Can you talk to your wife about all of this? This business of just showing up at your office sounds hinky to me. And about his being at the party: did your wife know and just not tell you until you were walking up, or was it something else? Because I know that in those same circumstances my Fidelio would have been none too pleased. And for the iffy bf to crack wise at Fidelio's expense? That would have gone over like a fart in church.
Can you tell your wife about your feeling he had read your file? I assume she's the one who would've filled him in.
And where does his wife stand in all of this?
The more I learn about your situation, the more I lean toward thinking you all need to work on communication. Especially between you and your wife. Since you feel the trust between you has been undermined, the two of you together need to come up with a plan to fix that, and asap. If it were me, I would ask that we put further poly explorations on hold for a time so that we could concentrate on repairing our marriage, which would be my top priority.