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Old 01-21-2011, 05:00 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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It helps to remember that sometimes (or often times), no matter how carefully you word it, the person to whom you are speaking is listening through their own filters of "I'm always wrong." You could treat the topic as gingerly and respectfully as possible, but if someone always sees themselves as victimized and made wrong by others, that's just their own shit. Your responsibility is to be as clear, direct, honest, and gentle as possible, acknowledging your views without pointing fingers, but you won't be heard if the other person isn't truly listening. So you really have no control over how your words are taken, just over how you communicate them. It's up to the other person to stop their internal dialogue and HEAR you.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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