No worries. I was good. He talked to me about it after. (because to answer Redpeppers question of my involvement, yes it is wanted and my thoughts on the new ones are sought after... But I do understand what you are saying though. I do have veto power, as his choice not just mine, but I am very careful to use it responsibly.)
This woman was all over the place from accusing him of lying and cheating last night to begging him to come to her house. She even pulled "I think there is someone outside my house and I'm scared" thing. When he told her he was gonna hang up so she could call the cops suddenly, it wasn't an issue. Yeah so really weird, unhinged convo he had. I wont get to far into that...
He is feeling very bad because she is hurt, or to be more precise, her life is ruined now because of him. (according to her and in less than a week. ummm. ok.) We have come to the conclusion that perhaps the girl just isn't stable. There are many reasons for that, I wont get into. Which was not an easy thing to admit, because of how we view strong emotions vs. Bipolar tendencies... but she could just be the real thing.
He is a very very sensitive guy. May not appear so outwardly, but he genuinely gets upset if he thinks he may have done something wrong to hurt some one or something. (and usually it is things that are not in his realm of control) I cant tell you how many baby bunnies he has come home with after working at his lawn care business, where the nest was accidentally hit, and he could only save a few, if any. He gets really upset by this. That kinda super sensitive ya know?
So because this girl his blaming him for everything on her plate basically, he, naturally to him, takes it. And holds guilt for it. When he has done nothing wrong.
I take that back. He does do something wrong. And not wrong for everyone mind you, but consistently been a problem and has been wrong for him. He needs to spend more time getting to know these women before sleeping with them. You cant explain poly in a few hours, or really get to know anyone either. (Yeah, A few hours I totally said that.>_<) And since he has such an emotional attachment to sex, he ends up getting hurt even worse. And often so do they. More often than not the girls are the one who make the first move, but I cant blame them. LOL. He is smokin hot. He has this animalistic "maleness" to him. He just ooozes sexual energy. A person cant help but want to hit that. LOL. But I have explained it to him that since he has such a very high sexual energy vibe, it has to be his responsibility to say, no, lets wait. And not sleep with everyone who throws themselves at him. ( And I can imagine it is very hard for ANY guy to do that!)
When I screen, or Veto as it is, I do this out of love and concern. I dont do it as a means to keep him to myself. He really really has poor judgment. Not because he is an idiot or anything, but because he is all rose colored glasses when it comes to girls. He believes the lies, he over looks red flags, and he is a total hero type. He ends up with "poor pitiful me" chics, who are doing nothing more than using him in some manner or another. He is a fix it type of guy in situations that cant be fixed. I want him to be in a happy healthy relationship. Even if it means I dont like the girl, which is a very probable outcome, as long as she is not psycho, I can totally handle it. LOL.
When I am describing these girls, I am not talking about poly confused, or jealous, or what might be in the normal realm of relationship trouble. I really truly mean, we have had a whole slew of the really far off the charts drama kind. (SERIOUSLY far off the charts!) I think I will post about them in my blog, so you can get a better idea what has transpired.....
I am really glad to be here, I have already learned so much. And everyones insight has been very helpful to me. Thank you.
“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”
~ Mother Teresa