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Old 01-20-2011, 10:57 PM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1,603

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
The lack of sleep could be a lot of things; time of year, relationships, kids, job, death, losing your book (I'm glad you found it btw!). I decided to look on my troubles more wholistically and not take one thing and microscopically disect it. It seems to be working for me, maybe it will for you.
I work things though by dissecting them. I talk things through and write about them and then eventually I can let them go. It's all just part of the process. This too shall pass. I'm don't suffer from insomnia all that often, usually I'm asleep the second my head hits the pillow

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I don't know what makes you think you left a bad impression with the gf. She hasn't reached out to you and does poly very differently to you it seems. I think she just is kind of doing her own thing no? She likley doesn't think of you at all except in terms of when she can spend time with your husband. Some people just aren't all that interested in strong friendships with their metamours.
It's just kind of weird for me to be friends with her primary and share a partner with her and not have a friendship with her too. Why I think I haven't made a good impression is because there have been times when I have most definitely had my grumpy pants on when she's been around. The walls have been up with her in the past. I wasn't ready to just let her in as a friend just because my husband likes her. I think maybe I was subconsciously wanting her to put the effort in with me. I've also made a lot of assumptions about the way she does things, especially since I haven't really sat down and talked with her about it.

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
The two of you are so different, I'm not sure why pursuing anything more is such a priority. Is it because you want a family type of poly? If so then I think, from what I know, she isn't your gal. Your hubby needs to find one that is just kidding! Of course I haven't stepped up to the plate. Maybe you need another partner too?
Hubby really doesn't need to find someone else. He and his gf are well suited for each other. As for family type poly I think what I want is people around me who I'm comfortable with and who feel like family. I don't want to live with more people (heck I wouldn't mind living alone lol). I don't need another partner. I'm tickled pink with the 2 I have. At the very least I wouldn't have the time to build something with anyone else without something else having to give.
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.
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