What an interesting question! I like it!
Maca is poly-or at least had poly tendencies and periodically other lovers.
But GG is mono-no two ways about it. He hasn't had another lover since I married Maca.
Can you give a couple examples Sage about what types of "expectations" you are talking about?
I mean.... I know one thing that is different is that I don't expect GG to tell me about who all he talks to in a day, because if it's important, he'll tell me, but it's never going to be important in terms of another "potential" cause he doesn't have other potential lovers.
On the other hand, while I don't need details, I do expect that Maca will tell me if he talks to another lover or potential lover about anything that might pertain to our time, his relationship status changing etc.
For example; today he told me that he'd (Maca) been invited to dinner Friday. He went out last Friday with only a couple hours notice. He said he hadn't talked to me about it because "it didn't seem important" at the moment.
On one hand, I totally agree, there's been SO MUCH shit hit the fan in the last 24 hours-it wasn't important enough to deal with that.
On the other hand, it's bothering me because we haven't talked about it, so does that mean he's planning to go or not? It bothers me (a lot) that he may be making plans for Friday (again) without talking to me in advance (again) and even more so because it has been a HELL of a week, and I really need some time with him. But, also, because Friday is a night when there isn't anything I can do but sit here with the kids. It's a perfect family night. Where as he could go out on Saturday night and if I wanted to as well, I have people who can watch the kids-on Friday night GG works and my mom has class...........
Ok-sorry, that was only supposed to be examples-but I do think that there are differences (maybe not fair, I'm not sure) between my expectations with a poly lover vs my expectations with a mono lover....
I'll think more and try to elaborate tomorrow...