It's so hard to see that you and I had completely different reactions to the same relationship. But then I stop and think about the person my mother was and what she did to me and I understand. She always had to be the focus even if that meant hurting those around her
I love you like family and that if nothing else, tells me that given that right circumstances, this can be good. It has definitely given me a good idea as to how I want to handle it with my own kids. I think sometimes people don't really think that you are going to notice and figuring it out on your own hurts so much worse then being told and being respected, not only for yourself as an intelligent person but really of someone who has a part in the relationship.
I think back to the kids in the group who didn't know..who just thought our parents were all really good friends who had these get togethers. I wonder if they ever found out..how that made them feel. For a while I wondered if I was this way because I grew up around it..but I think it's just a part of me, a part that I can accept and understand better because I did see it first hand.
You are amazing and strong and I love you!