Even if I still have a father, I hate to admit that in my childhood, when I was having serious problems only my mother was always there for me,talking to me, caring and helped me develop the personality I have now. Even my father WAS there physically, he was "absent". I think you know what I mean. When I was still little, I used to blame him for not being there for me when I had problems. But now I dont keep a grudge. No one is born to be a good parent, and he has other great qualities. So, yes ,maybe I seek the paternal figure I lacked in my childhood to my future relationships. Also, I don't intent to divulge my feelings for my professor. Never! So I dont wait for that kind of response from him ever. If later on, when I graduate, he responds to my feelings in a way that a polyamory realtionship can be formed, that's ok. If someone better shows up, even better. My feelings for him will be the same anyway. I will never approve cheating. He has a beautiful family and I dont want me to be the cause of ruining it.