My husband could have written a lot of what you have! It's so great we can all come here for support. We are not alone.
I just got to thinking that the Mormon concept of polygamy as well as the concept of polyamory are NOT the mainstream, so of course there is confusion!
I'm on here every day. I need to keep perspective, that what we're doing isn't crazy or terrible or ridiculous. Every now and then I hear Dr. Phil's voice in my head, all incredulous and judgemental!
I know there are plenty people in society who could not understand what my husband is doing, out of love for me, dedication to our marriage and our family, and also compassion for his friend. It's hard to have that pressure nagging at you, that people would not understand, would condemn you or encourage you to abandon your wife. I love coming to this forum and reading other people's love stories. How extraordinary to truly accept someone for who they are, to embrace the idea that more love cannot be a bad thing.
Lobster, pat yourself on the back for having an open mind and a good heart. Kudos for thinking outside the box and daring to see love as a power greater than ourselves. Glad you're here