By the way, what we did was write her letters, and then she wrote us an email. After that, we all talked. It was easier that way for a few reasons. One, with her memory issues (some genuine and some selective), I wanted a written version of what we all talked about. Two, it prevented him and I (mostly me, lol) from getting off topic and allowed us to form a more cohesive argument. And I think it made it easier for her to say, okay... I need some time to process this, and walk away without argument or discord.
So, for those who were worried we don't talk or communicate, at least you see that we do when it really matters. As for the situation with my husband, I tried to explain it as easily and fairly as possible... I simply told him I am not accusing him, I'm not mad at him and he's done nothing wrong. He just hasn't happened to want sex with me for two weeks. It happens. I rationally understand that there doesn't need to be a reason beyond that... it was just hard when I did NOT expect them to have sex and thought I had a chance that night, and I never really did. But that was my own fault, as I've already stated. He and she did nothing wrong. That was their alone time, to use as they please, and I honestly should expect that they will use it for sex, and never think I have a chance before or after, because for various reasons, I almost never will. So, I learned a lesson, too.
Anyway... that's that. Just figured I'd give a bit more of an update on what happened with him. We're good now (still no sex, but oh, well).
Thanks for the listening.