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Old 01-19-2011, 05:24 AM
Fidelia Fidelia is offline
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Originally Posted by redevil View Post

... (The hubby and I's time) My frustration comes into how every single conversation we have has to come back to the relationship between myself and the boyfriend. He's not willing to let it go for even a day so that we can talk about just us. Nothing and I mean nothing I say or do can distract him from this topic and it's painful.
I have dealt with issues like this before, and here's what worked for us: acknowledging that endlessly dwelling on and circling around an issue was draining the joy out of us, we agreed establish a set amount of time for venting, say 15 minutes or whatever you think you might need, and set a timer. During that time, our goal was to fully vent every negative thought/feeling/whatever to one another without blame, spite or recriminations. Just get it all out. ALL OF IT. Don't leave any tiny bit of it inside. Drain the wound. When the timer runs out, the venting is over, and it's time to move on to something else.

Obviously this won't work for every circumstance, but it has proven to be very effective for helping us break out of obessively dwelling on issues. Perhaps something like that might work for y'all.
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