Things are good today. As long as I don't over think I don't freak out as much. I went to see Leo today, just to check in on my thoughts about everything and confirmed that really my life is good where it is at. I confirmed with him our plans to camp this summer with our families again... two weekends; one at the beginning of summer and one at the end. Luckily the poly camps don't coincide. It was nice to see him, give him a hug and make sure his staff saw me. They know me by name now and are thoroughly confused. He says they are jealous that a pretty red head doesn't visit them
I like that.
I think in leaving it I have opened my mind to the realization that he isn't all that into me really and would have sex with me if he could, but really just enjoys my company and that he can show me off. He likes to take me out and treat me, knowing that he can look at me and be seen with me... it feeds into my fetishes nicely and I think I should take it just as that. He also thinks I'm smart and likes to hear what I say about poly, relationships and what I do with the rest of my time... burlesque, etc.
Really he is satisfied with a girl on his arm that likes to dress up and be treated to dinner and a drink or two and be left to talk his ear off. I can do that... as long as I don't cause drama between him and his wife or be overly emotional I think it will be fine. In order to do that I have to watch my attachment and connection with him. Its best if I don't get in too deep.