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Old 01-18-2011, 06:40 PM
BellaPietra BellaPietra is offline
New Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3
Unhappy New and Confused

I'm going to try to make this understandable, though when I am not exactly sure what is going on, it is hard for me to express it to others.

I met D over a year ago. We started seeing each other exactly a year ago. I didn't know at the time, but have since found out that he was in a monogamous relationship at the time, and I was the other woman. His ex-gf is M.

Throughout the year we've been "together" he and M have fought and fought, attempting to retain a friendship. During that time he and I got very close. We kind of graduated from seeing each other to being in a something, which we have decided is a relationship without definition. We both want a poly relationship, but he refuses to define us.

I thought I was okay with that, but now he and M are very close again. He has started referring to his situation as seeing two people, and "this poly thing". He has been "poly" for years, so he claims. But it seems I have a better handle on this than he does. He NEVER asked me if it was okay to start having sex with her again. He never told me he started having feelings for her again. And he certainly did not ask me if I minded if he saw the both of us at the same time.

I have a girlfriend, but I ran all of those things by him before I perused a relationship with her beyond friendship.

I just realized today actually that the lack of a definition has me in an odd position. He is already seeing us both (we hate each other by the way, I'd deck her if I met her). So how do I approach this with him? Obviously, definition is now needed. I think. I am not sure of anything. We've discussed things we want before, but it seems that the rules only apply to me. Who I meet or have sex with. He has no rules. And obviously that is no way to have a relationship. Not with me anyway.

I guess I need some advice, and just maybe talk it out a bit? I haven't brought this up to him yet because I am still unsure of exactly what to say, and what exactly I want. I am also loathe to lose him.

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