Originally Posted by detritus
.............It makes me wonder if I'm really cut out for this type of relationship, or if we are on a fool's errand. Do most people that make poly relationships work feel like being poly is an intrinsic sexual orientation? Or are there others like us that are just more, I dunno, attracted to the idea and willing to give it a try?
Yes - all these emotions are absolutely normal. And as far as I know there's really no 'shortcut' to putting them behind you.
Think about it. At this point in your life you've been subject to (probably) between 18 and 60 years of cultural conditioning ! You think you're going to reprogram that in a month ? Good luck !
But you can evolve beyond this if you choose to.
1> Study the differences between mono and poly some with an open mind. Make mental note of advantages and disadvantages of both. Weigh the philosophy of both against the world you DESIRE to live in !
2> If you choose to truly explore poly, involve yourself as deeply as possible. Read everything you can get your hands on. Find other successful poly people to communicate with. Talk, think. Repeat 10,000 times. Not necessarily in that order.
All of a sudden one day you will pause, look around, look back, and realize you are 'there'. And probably not realize how you got there
But the lessons will never be forgotten.