Alpha... by Accident
Ideally, in my Boyfriend and I's relationships with others, we would like for us to all be on an equal level. All communicate be friends etc. FMF relationship all sharing each others lives together.
I do not actively search out women for us, as I honestly do not have the time or energy to do so. The women I have brought to our relationship have been very good open minded friends of mine who have popped in for the night as a favor. Not as part of a relationship. Which was all good and fun, but not what either of us really want.
He does actively search out women. And has exhibited VERY poor judgment in doing so, not maliciously mind you I think he is just to eager to find the "one". But these women have created a HUGE amount of drama in our lives, and as a result of this, I have had to step in to screen so to speak.
The rule is now, He doesn't get to start any relationships with anyone I do not approve of. And although I am very very picky and he finds this extremely frustrating, I have always been right about all of them so far. It's disturbing how many girls will come around and take advantage of a situation such as ours. I certainly hope none of you had ever had to deal with this.
I don't want to do this. It's not who I am to be in control like this. And honestly, its exhausting. But the amount of heartache he has suffered from these 'undesirables' is just to much for me to watch anymore. He is such a giving and caring person and so easily taken advantage of, its just excruciating to see happen over and over again. Every time he gets hurt, it effects our relationship for months, and then I am hurting too.
I am constantly questioning, giving what we actually want for our lives, do I even have the right to protrude myself into his new relationships? Is there a better way for me to handle this?
I just can't deal with him hurting anymore.
It kills me.