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Old 09-03-2009, 12:58 AM
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River River is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NM, USA
Posts: 1,894

Originally Posted by Ceoli View Post
Do people find the world of poly to be a bit of a harsh environment for single people? It's almost like trying to jump into a jump-rope game that's already going really fast where everyone on the inside is singing their jump-rope song and enjoying a great rhythm. It's flowing great on the inside and next to impossible to join.
This would seem to be true in several respects. And it's a fine analogy!

In the respect I have had experience with, as part of a couple wanting to open to someone outside our jumping rope play, I found it difficult to get across the understanding that this other person would not have to function as a "secondary" --, but could join as an equal -- even though coming late to the play. Later, much later, it was aparent that he neither wanted that nor was he capalble of it -- but I KNEW that I was capable of it, and that my already jumping rope partner was also capable.

If everyone involved is okay with "secondaries," fine. But that's not the way my heart works. My jumping rope practice wants to open to the fullness of love, without insiders and outsiders, prioritization, ranking.... But we're not all in this same boat, and I'm okay with that. I don't seek to impose my desires on others in this jump rope play.

I hope this sheds some light, somehow, on the other respects in which the jump rope play continues -- in our desires for creating community, belonging, and love.
bi, partnered, available

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