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Old 01-18-2011, 02:29 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
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Originally Posted by rubrklnx View Post

So a couple days ago I told Aarin I needed to break up with him. I couldn't be around and entangled with a marriage that is suffering this much (and the lines are blurry on whether its because of me, because of them, or some of both), and also because, as I told Aarin, I need to find someone for myself for whom I can be Primary, and being in love with Aarin and trying to date other people will mean I can't fall in love with anyone else.
I understand your desire to break up with them. It's about being a positive in their lives; bringing them closer together. If a person is entering an established relationship and isn't adding to it then I truly believe they should have the strength to withdraw. That being said, it is a dangerous game to assume you know what is happening for them. If I didn't trust in the re-assurances of Redpepper and her husband, I would have taken myself out of the equation before ever getting this far. Trust in them but be able to do what is right.

Originally Posted by rubrklnx View Post
They say I should be happy with him while I can, even if it never means that I can be married to him or be his Primary. ,
They have no right to pressure you to "settle". If you need a primary partner and someone that has the potential for marriage and kids, they should respect that. To say you "should" do anything because it suits their needs is selfish.

This isn't about what is going on for them...this is about what is going on for you. It sounds like you are deflecting the truth of the issue. It sounds like you need to look deep inside and ask yourself what you truly want.

Good luck my's a hard road

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