Originally Posted by redpepper
I don't believe making yourself get over jealousy or any emotion is the way to go. You need to work on yourself to get over strong emotions.
Finding yourself a lover is not the way to do it either. You can't make yourself be poly. If you are you are, and if you aren't you aren't. End of story... Finding a lover so that your husband and you can be equal is just adding more drama to the situation...more separateness, less togetherness.
It isn't a competition either. Just because he has a lover, doesn't mean you have to be equal. You are you and he is himself. You are different and unique in your own way. Respect that and love each other for that. That in itself is a way to get over your jealousy... learn to love you and learn who you are. That way when you are jealous you can rely on yourself to get through it and not him. Walk through your feelings and learn not to fear them but welcome them and embrace the lessons they bring.
just wrote this on another thread, but thought it was worth remembering.