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Old 01-17-2011, 04:53 PM
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Rarechild Rarechild is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: SW Michigan
Posts: 600
Default You are amazing

My love, I know your growing is painful because I am right here with you no matter what. While it is endearing that you are not aware of how powerful you are, I reject this idea of you not being whole.

I have made my home with you. I have learned love from you. I have become myself again looking into your eyes. I would not build the foundation of my life with you if I did not trust you utterly. You deserve trust, you who trusts in his trusting, loves without effort and without expectation of praise.

You, me and Charlie are all rocked. It's okay, love. You're not alone nor will you ever be. I would like to respond to your perspective with some important realities that you are leaving out. I am your moral compass, after all, please hear me.

Originally Posted by Catfish View Post
As a man who spent his first decade without a father, I have had to learn much on my own. My childhood went something like this... My mother, my older brother and myself were a poorly oiled machine, solely focused on survival. And survive we did. Like prisoners of war, we held on until the fighting stopped and peace was declared. When I was 12, she married a stand up guy who I now call Dad. From then on, I was raised to be a sensitive, intelligent, caring man.
Yes, survive you did, but much more. As I told you and as Charlie and I have discussed, the fact that you were abandoned by your father, and yet made yourself, on your own steam as a child, into a man; I admire you for that. I cannot imagine what it feels like to be left out in the cold like that. My love, come in and get warm, because you have a family gathered around you close that will never stand for anyone putting you down, locking you out, holding you back-not even you and you can count on that.

Originally Posted by Catfish View Post
But the damage had already been done. I had unwittingly relegated myself to a perfectly normal life of silent survival.
You neglect to mention that your "perfectly normal life of silent survival" included writing amazing poetry and slamming your way to the national stage-how many times? Everyone gaga over your shining hair flipping in the spotlight as you made them laugh and cry, and encouraged countless other writers to find their voices and rip a hole in the sky with you. And then there's your music, your songs, your self-mastery of instruments and another conduit to let it fly out into the Universe. The friend, the son, the lover you have been, this and more was all you before I ever stopped in the dark on my way off the stage to exchange compliments shyly with you.

Originally Posted by Catfish View Post
I could have lived my entire life without ever needing to fill those cracks with fresh mortar, seal it all up and protect it from the harsh weather; choosing instead to live in the house of someone stronger. And that life would have been just fine. I would have lived and loved and carried on... just fine.
I call bullshit. I don't believe it. I know you too well. I think your metaphor is beautiful, but you have only been shown this perspective as a contrast to what is meant for us so you can be more fully grateful.

Originally Posted by Catfish View Post
The revelation here, my fine cohorts, is one of beginning to understand the work one must do to be whole. One must fall apart, repeatedly, and have the strength and support to rebuild, repeatedly.
"God continues to break the heart until it remains open."-Rumi

We can be MORE whole in our brokenness. We don't need the road that brought us here anymore. We need the road that leads us on.

Let Fly, and tear up the runway.

"Rocks will open and make a way for the lover."
~Hazrat Inayat Khan

I love Catfish and Charlie.
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