I've stopped crying. Mr. A is moving, somewhere, at some point in the near future. Most likely option right now is about 2hrs away.
I fluctuate between being okay with it, to being more upset, to being very happy for this new opportunity in his life. Right now, it's all three. With any luck, as I write this he's flying a plane he's wanted to be in for 10 years. That's pretty huge.
Part of the problem is that this was feeling like the first step in the demise of our relationship. He's going to be moving further away, not closer. I want to build a family.
But we've talked. I have no doubt that he's sincere in wanting to make this work. It's still hard though.
Indigo has been an amazing support. If my husband is reassuring me of the strength of the relationship between me and my boyfriend, well that carries a lot of weight in my eyes.
So I'm working on the things I can control. I can mourn the relationship I'd hoped for and work towards making this new one fulfilling in different ways. I can effectively communicate my needs to him. I can move our computer to a more private location so that video chats will be possible. I already know there's a bus that runs regularly to the most likely place he'll be.
Deep breaths. It won't be the same as it was, but it will still be.