It is very valid that you ask them to slow down if you are struggling. If their having sex is too much/spending too much time together/leaving you out of conversations.. whatever, then ask them to take a break, talk about it, and slow down so that you can catch up emotionally. Going at the pace of the one who is struggling is respectful, will show you that they care and can empathize.
If they pull it off and decide they would like to fulfill your requests then doing so will show you that they can be trusted and that they have integrity. Give them some idea of what your boundaries are so that they have something to negotiate with. I'm not saying that they will always do as you want or even that they should, but that you have every right to ask for your needs to be met and if they are wise and loving/caring, they will do their best to help you find a place of comfort.
There are many threads here that could help. I hope that they take the time to read her also. If you do a tag search or look in the stickes you will find many ideas on where to start reading.. there is lots on "jealousy" "NRE" "lessons" "foundations" all in the tags. Use them and add to them if you wish. Sharing is what this forum is all about.
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