As he said before..I grew up in a poly family. I know what it takes to make it work and have seen just how great it can be. When my mom passed away, my dad and her boyfriend where together and for months they got each other through the grief. In fact when all this came to a head, it was them that we turned to for advice.
Our biggest obstacle right now, which I think is getting missed in all this is that we are not in the same country. None of us are. We have 3 time zones, 3 countries and 3 continents to deal with and it will be like that for possibly a year. The 3 of us talk regularly via conference chats and the boys talk regularly as well. We have spent many an hour hashing things out and bouncing things off of each other. We even had one this evening because of this thread actually.
The bf and I deal with things in the same way and it's hard for us to see things the way the hubby does. Not because we don't understand them, we both do. We don't understand how he bounces around. One minute we are fine and then 5 minutes later..we aren't. Human nature is what it is and I came into this expecting a long road to acceptance and peace. I wasn't naive to that. But this is a two way street and a little more involvement and a little less letting it roll over and being unhappy about it would be really appreciated.