Thanks for the extra information Redevil, I think you are doing the right thing setting time aside for your husband to the exclusion of all others. From experience this goes a long way; and to think about it, I had to deal with similar issues. I also agree with your feeling it's your responsibility to work to make sure he's ok, within reason since he must express his feelings.
I realized that the reason I wanted to talk about it obsessively was because there were feelings and concerns I wasn't fully expressing or I felt TP wasn't fully understanding. But I did make a conscious effort to just be with her and enjoy my time with her, and perhaps you two need to do that: just force yourselves to ignore the issues so you get quality time without the stress of talking things out and set aside time to discuss. Keep things compartmentalized until things settle.
I can speak first hand to your husband's feelings since I felt I might not be able to handle poly without completely sacrificing my happiness but all I can say is push through.
You're only a little way in and there's a long road ahead but work at it and it can be rewarding.
Polyamory is wrong! It's Multiamory or Polyphilia. Mixing Greek and Latin roots? That's wrong.
Last edited by Indigomontoya; 01-17-2011 at 03:53 AM.