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Old 09-01-2009, 09:49 PM
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sweetlivvie sweetlivvie is offline
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Kansas
Posts: 7
Default more than a little disappointed :(

I'm going to try my best to make this short and readable

Okay, so since my last post we've gone from "should we? shouldn't we?" to "okay, we're doing this." None of us is really sure exactly what to do, it's still so new, but we agree that it's something each of us wants. I can't tell you how ecstatic I am about this! I just want to tell every person that I meet, lol. There is a small thing that's come up recently that hurt me a little bit, though. I'm not sure how to deal with it, or if I even should deal with it or just let it go.

There is a bit of a physical distance between us that makes it hard to see them as often as I'd like. They live about 15 minutes from each other, but about 45 minutes from me. For this reason, they see each other quite often, whereas I see them maybe once a week. It honestly doesn't bother me at all that they spend time together, I think that's awesome! But I do wish that I could spend more time with them. We talk every day, and they always let me know how much they miss me and wish I was there with them, but it's still hard

I guess my problem is that we *always* have to go over to his house and I can't afford to drive up there any more than I am. I have to put $10 of gas in my tank to make it up there and back. I figured it up and realized that I've spent over $300 on gas alone to go see him. It's not even a money issue for me though, it's just that he hasn't driven down here once. My parents want to know why they've never met two of my closest friends, and they've started to make assumptions about him by the fact that he won't come see me (he's cheap...he's lazy...he expects me to come to him...he doesn't want to meet them...etc.) It's not about money though, or not wanting to make the effort. I know the real reason, and it's one that I can't explain to them. It's because I live at home still and he knows that if we hang out here we can't have sex. This isn't to say that I think he only wants me for sex, but I think because we have such a limited amount of time together he wants to take advantage of the time we have.

Well the other day, she and I were talking about how much fun it would be to go to the drive-in, which is about 5 minutes from me. So I suggested that they come over here and hang out for a while and then stay the night after the movie (since the last movie wouldn't be done until about 3am) She loved the idea, so we introduced it to him and he said it sounded fun too. I asked my parents, they said it was fine providing he sleep on the couch. My parents were really excited that they would get to meet them. Then last night, he decided that he thought it would be better if we skipped the movies and stayed the night at his place instead and I could tell my parents I was staying the night at her house. (sounds so jr. high, I know) I tried to hide my disappointment and told him I'd see if I could. I'm really disappointed on many levels. Mostly because it makes me feel like hanging out together is only worth it if we're having sex. I don't know how to bring it up with them. Am I overreacting? Should I just suck it up? I can see where he's coming from, but it still hurts me.

And for the record, I say "they" and "them" a lot, but it's mostly him. She seems perfectly happy to come see me, and to hang out without having sex, but he is always included when she and I hang out, so it's still pretty much his decision.
"My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite."
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