I hear you MG.
I wouldn't have a "secret" relationship.
But-for example, there are a couple guys at a local Karaoke bar that I enjoy flirting with.
I was at the grocery store where one of them works. I spoke briefly with him and it was friendly. He invited me to go out that Friday. I was upfront that IF Maca/GG wanted to go WE might show up, but there wasn't a chance that I would be showing up alone.
I would be totally willing to get to know these guys better. But, at no point have I ever kept their existence a secret. Both Maca and GG know they exist, who they are, where they work and that I find them attractive.
However, that does NOT equate to them meeting my kids.
If someone hasn't built a level of trust with me based on knowing THEM as a person-not on the fact that we both find each other to be sexually stimulating, they aren't coming to meet my kids.
At the same time, if someone doesn't know Maca and GG peripherally (meaning having met, said hello and know who these two men are to ME), they aren't going to be getting to know me better anyway.
I'm just very strict that this family is my priority. I'm TOTALLY game to increase the size of the family, but I'm not ok with exchanging players if you know what I mean.
"Love As Thou Wilt"