My ex is about to return from her trip. We have had intermittent electronic communication while she has been gone. She says she still feels pulled towards me and loves me, and that her other guy, while a great guy, isn't like me and doesn't have the same kind of deep connection. But at the same time she is talking about the life she wants to build with him...which is very much like the life we talked about wanting to build together once my big work project was done, which it now is. I just don't understand why, if I'm the "special one" with the unbreakable connection, that she decided to make him her main romantic focus instead.
My wife thinks that my ex will try to get me back as a physical lover within the next month. I don't know if she is right or not, but my wife also told me that, while she is ok with us being friends, she would not be OK with us becoming physical lovers again. She says that my ex betrayed my wife's trust too by treating my emotions without enough respect. So even if we go forward as friends, we can't be physical lovers again...I won't go that direction without my wife's approval.
My emotions on all of this range from whistful to resigned to depressed to "ok, we'll be great friends." I still feel tremendous love and longing for my ex, but I'm not sure what to do with it.