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Old 01-14-2011, 09:48 PM
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Morningglory629 Morningglory629 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
I

But I can be attracted, VERY VERY attracted and not take it past friendship.
YEP!

Quote:
I don't see that taking someone as a lover negates the ability to build a friendship. However, I would never assume they are a good fit for the family until a friendship has been built. I may be in the minority, but until a friendship has been formed, they shouldn't even be introduced to the family (ie. children) at all. In fact the introductions should start with the other adult family memebers and the decission of when it's time to make further introductions should be a mutal decission.
I guess my hesitance in taking a lover for just sex is based on the fact that when I invite someone into my life, the intent is never for that to be temporary. If you are my lover, I have already invested myself in you. As far as intros into the family...you cannot possibly be considered a friend if you cannot be part of my whole life. But that is me. I expect my lover to have some relationships with my friends and family, especially my children. They are the most important people in my life, why should there be any investment in being lovers if I have to keep you from my children for whatever reason? I am so happy when 2Rings interacts with my family. I am grateful that my husband is able to handle that interraction, but it was always something that would happen because he is part of my life, and whether or not my children or family or friends like him is up to them, but know him absolutely a must. I am not investing my energy into anything that I view as temporary, nor am I hiding him or ashamed of our relationship. I understand waiting for SOs being okay with intros but it is an eventual interaction, so IMO dragging it out too long just causes anxiety and really sets one up for some backlash from the "others" in your life. For example, if I had a secret relationship for two years with someone my husband, children, parents, siblings and close friends never heard of...it would be hard for them because they would feel deceived. If they met and knew of the interactions between my lover and I over the course of the relationship, coming out to them as more than Just Friends would be less of a blow. Of course that is my opinion. Not true for everyone.
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